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Helping with revision and examsIf you're like many parents, you'll get as stressed, or more stressed, than your children at exam time. Some children are being bribed to revise and get good grades. You want them to succeed, but they often don't want to be told what to do or how to do it. On this page:
1. Attitude 1. AttitudeA business-like, reflective attitude to helping your child revise and prepare for exams is more likely to work than a largely emotional, reactive one. This is not easy of course - being the parent of a teenager is not all 'business as usual'. But it is worth the effort to be (or at least appear to be) objective, calm and reasonable. Don’t keep asking if they’re all right but be there as a calm support. 2. Two motivating questionsMany students have not thought about what will happen if they don't get good grades. They may say, "Oh, I'll retake them next year." But when they really think about what might be involved in retaking - an extra year studying subjects that they might not like, a year not working and earning money, another year at home perhaps - it sinks in. In my work as a personal coach, I am used to helping people by asking simple questions. If your child is lacking in motivation, ask some questions in a matter-of-fact way - not charged with emotion! Here are just two suggestions depending on whether on not your child has a clear idea of what kind of career they'd like: If your child knows what they want to do for a career, use this kind of sequence, although it might involve doing some investigating: 1. What career do you want? This is a very powerful way of working backwards from the ultimate goal (which can appear so big and distant that it's not motivating) right back to the present reality. If you child doesn't have an idea of what they want to do, just ask, "What will happen if you don't get decent grades in your exams?" Again, ask in a matter-of-fact way - take the emotional charge out of your voice if possible. As I said above, many students have not really thought through the consequences of not getting good enough grades. 3. Making a revision planHelping your child to create and use a revision plan
should mean that they don't need you looking over their shoulder all
the time, worrying about whether they're doing enough. That's the theory
anyway! 4. Avoiding stressYou can't avoid stress completely; and it has its uses. Have a look at the students' section on health for information. 5. Exam papers and revise guidesI've included all the information about where to get practice papers
on the exam syllabuses
and papers page. 6. At exam timeHere are some links to advice and articles that you may find useful: Parents’
Tips for Exam Students Childline: Exam
Stress Exam
nerves 7. Should I use bribes?Ideally, of course, no. But... there's no doubt that it often works. The crucial thing is to have a Plan B - just in case your child's grades don't qualify for the agreed handout. Here's a link to an article taken from The Independent: |
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