 |
|
When things go wrongFor a good place to start, go to the Parents Centre On this page:
1. Encouraging self-esteem 1. Encouraging self-esteemEncouraging self-esteem is a good idea no matter whether your child is having problems or not.
Phrases that reduce self-esteem:
Phrases that build self-esteem:
Alan Wilson runs a business helping to build self-esteem - at www.developyourchild.co.uk. There are many good books on the subject of self-esteem, positive thinking and personal development, some written for children. 2. Finding out what's wrongHelping a child to communicate can be like wringing blood from a stone! It helps if you have the habit of saying things that tend to build, rather than reduce, self-esteem. Here are some ideas: • Talking about your own feelings, thoughts and ideas should encourage your children to reciprocate. But don't burden them with your problems or pass your stress on to them. • Set a good example. Demonstrate self-control and coping skills. Your children will benefit by seeing how you cope successfully with stress. • Talk with your children. Find out what's happening in their lives. Be honest and open with them. Encourage them to write diaries. • Compliment children when they do well, and don't forget hugs and kisses. • Use humor to buffer bad feelings and situations. A child who learns to use humor himself will be better able to keep things in perspective. • Don't overload your child with too many after-school activities and responsibilities. Let children learn to pace themselves. Don't enroll them in every class that comes along. • Don't expect them to be first in everything. Encourage them instead to focus on improving their own performance. That's what professional athletes do. • Get friends' or professional help when problems seem beyond your skills. I hope the links below help with this. 3. Problems with teachersIf your child says that they have a real problem with a teacher,
there can be many reasons. Encourage your child to describe
the perceived problem in detail. Ask them what they could do to make
things a bit better. They might come up with: Welcome suggestions such as this - they show that your child can deal with the problem to at least some extent. It is always worth making an appointment with the teacher to find out their views and ask them what they think could be done. Be friendly but business-like. Be constructive; don't go on the attack - it's a facet of human nature than we become withdrawn and defensive when attacked. And that will be counter-productive. 4. BullyingBullying can happen to almost anyone. It has been said that almost 8 out of every 10 children in the United Kingdom have been victims of bullying. In 1999, an anti-bullying policy was enforced in schools across Britain, but the problem still continues. Every year hundreds of children all over the world commit suicide because they are victims of terrible bullying. These children would rather die than face yet another day of being tormented and teased. Most children however, are more fortunate than this and manage to get help in time. What is bullying?Bullying is a form of aggressive and cruel behaviour that expresses itself in various forms - it can be racial bullying, teasing, calling someone names, or continuously harassing someone. Children get bullied because they might look different or sound different. Your child might be a victim of bullying if they are continuously subjected to: Physical abuse like being pushed, attacked, subject to degrading
behaviour. How do you know that your child is being bullied?It is not always easy to tell if your child is being bullied. Some symptoms that parents should look out for are: Your child getting extremely upset at the thought of going to school.
What to do if your child is being bullied?Whatever age your children are, it is good for them to know that you are there for them to talk to should the need arise. But they may not want to ‘squeal’ on the bullies for fear of what the bullies might do to them if they find out. The school has definite responsibilities with regard to
bullying. There are many websites that deal with the issue of bullying – some of these are:Advisory Centre for Education (ACE) Childline Bullying Resources http://www.bullying.co.uk/ Telephone help:You may find these numbers useful - even encourage your child to use them if they can't talk about the problem with you. Childline on 0800 11111 5. Eating disordersEating disorders can affect both male and female of any age, but tend to be most common in the teenage years and especially in girls. They can be life threatening if not addressed at an early stage. Most parents are finding it very difficult to ensure that their children eat a balanced diet - a recent survey showed that about 25% of young people in Britain eat mostly junk food and do not have a balanced diet. Many of them want to lose weight but are not sure how to go about it. What are the two main eating disorders?Bulimia and anorexia. It is estimated that 1 in 10 men suffer from some kind of an eating disorder. Eating disorders generally target women between the ages of 14 and 25 who see waif-like super models as their role models and want to be as skinny as them. Their ultimate goal in life becomes losing weight and their whole life centres around food. Bulimia affects about 2 percent of the population between the ages of 15 and 40. AnorexiaAnorexia is a rare life threatening disorder, which is characterised by a desire to lose large amounts of weight very rapidly in order to become extremely thin. It affects both men and women of all ethnic groups. It is estimated to affect about 5 teenage women in every 100,000. What are the symptoms? Lack of eating accompanied by severe weight loss. BulimiaBulimia is a disorder which is characterised by an obsession to lose weight by ensuring that the food that is consumed is not allowed to stay in the body. It can have harmful long term effects like damage to the kidneys, teeth, vocal cords and heart. What are the symptoms? Overeating and binge eating. As a parent, how can you help your child?If you are a parent who has a good relationship with your child where you can communicate easily with them, talk to them if you have any suspicions that they may be suffering from an eating disorder. If this is difficult, encourage them to talk to a teacher or a friend. There are also professional organisations that offer help to young people and to adults and give information and advice on all aspects of eating disorders including Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, Binge Eating Disorder and related eating disorders. Some of these organisations are - Eating Disorders Association (EDA) operates a telephone
Helpline for people with an eating disorder, their family, friends,
and professionals, along with a Youthline that offers information, help
and support for young people aged 18 years and under. Adult Helpline (over 18 years of age) Youthline (up to and including 18 years of age) Eating Disorders Research Unit Anorexia & Bulimia Care - www.anorexiabulimiacare.co.uk/
SWEDA (Somerset & Wessex Eating Disorders Association)
helps people who suffer from different kinds of eating disorders. www.swedauk.org/
And don't forget Overeaters Anonymous 07000 784985 and Obesity Lifeline 01279 306666 6. DepressionThis is such a big and complex area that I really don't want to go into it too much - I'll just point you to a couple of UK websites (there are so many sites, most selling remedies of various sorts): http://www.clinical-depression.co.uk/Depression_Information/teen.htm The most important thing you can do is to actively demonstrate your support and show that you're on your child's side - whatever the reason for the depression. An important factor in depression is often a feeling of being alone - nobody will understand. You can say, explicitly, "I may not understand what you're feeling, but I'm always here anyway - whatever." 7. Drugs and substance abuseThe Parent Centre website is a good place to start if you think that drugs are a problem either for your child or at school. 8. Other links |
|